Eating my feelings
I’ve been caught in the mindset that it’s my job to be miss positive, the sparkly happy Julia that I love to be - but most importantly it’s my job to be me and as a human, I have shitty thoughts too. So even though it feels scary and uncomfortable, I wanted to share my truth about fear and over-eating.
Lately I have found myself eating when I'm not hungry, overeating at meal time and making myself over full and just...
never. feeling. satisfied.
I've struggled with this at different times of my life and it's usually when...
- I feel unsettled or anxious,
- I feel fearful about something (whether I can put my finger on it or not) and/or
- I feel like I'm not doing good enough
Even though these happen in my mind, they always show up somehow in the body as feelings. In my case I physically feel emptiness, fluttering in my tummy and a lack of satisfaction - it's uncomfortable.
Without taking a minute to pause and realise what's really going on, I tend to reach for food for enjoyment or distraction.
"Oh I must be hungry, ooh what snack can I make? Oooh maybe I could whip something up and share it on Instagram".
The endless feeling of not enough, not listening to my body, has me diving in for a second serving, before taking a mo to feel if I've had enough.
...Ah well, it's pretty healthy and it tastes delicious...10 minutes later, I'm overfull and feeling heavy and sluggish.
Some nights recently, I've gone to bed uncomfortably FULL and feeling annoyed at myself, once more entering into a thought spiral.
They are just thoughts..
Instead of feeling the uncomfortable emotions, I am trying to shove down and cover them up - with food!
While this could look different for each of us, the result loop is often the same.
We all have fear and that annoying Negative self talk - its actually the way we humans are.
Right now I have that fluttery tummy as I write this, because it's uncomfortable being so honest - "Julia - stop being dramatic, it's nothing compared to what some people struggle with, nobody cares." Says my noggin.
The longer I ignore (or believe) those shitty thoughts about myself (and they are just thoughts) the louder they get.
So I can try to shove them down with another helping and continue to feel bad, or I can take a moment to pause I feel the (at times pretty uncomfortable) sensations in my body and accept the negative thoughts, they do pass.
Tip I find helpful: when you feel like turning to food, ask yourself:
"Am I hungry?"
"What JUst happened?"
"Will this nourish me?"
Making conscious eating choices takes practise and it's super empowering to feel like you're back in alignment with your habits.
I often come up against intense fear, fretty thoughts and not enoughness - we all do, even my mentors, it's always there, we just need to learn to manage it.
I help my clients with conscious eating choices and mindset stuff, if you want to know more or just share your thoughts with someone, please, send me an email JuliaFrancesWellness@gmail.com
Thank you, so much for reading. Lot's of love, Julia Frances xx